Sunday, April 1, 2012

Welcome To The "Save Hyperion Wharf" Blog


Effective immediately the SAVE PLEASURE ISLAND BLOG is changing its name to SAVE HYPERION WHARF BLOG.  With the name change comes a complete change of focus from trying to save Pleasure Island to instead trying to save Hyperion Wharf!

You know, I know, we all know that Pleasure Island was for losers. The place did get crowded and it made tons of money but we all know that Disney is and has always been about "show" rather than "making money".  Everyone at PI was a loser with a capital "L" over their face.  Think about it.  Mannequins was full of people getting drunk and just going around in circles while flashing lights brought them to a trance-like state.  Losers.  8TRAX, omg, people listening to the same songs from the 70's over and over and over and over again.  Losers.  Adventurers Club.  The same 10 people keep complaining that it's closed.  Other than visitors who wandered inside by mistake, it was the same crazy locals in there night after night, yelling the same stale lines to the same old-geezer colonel puppet on the wall. It never was any fun. Losers.  Now don't get me started about Motion.  Orlando already had Hip Hop/Rap clubs yet Disney's attempt to mimic one was sooo lame.  Come on, Hip Hop and Rap are all about demeaning women and having sex, yet Disney wouldn't allow any of those kinds of songs to get played.  Instead they played line dances like the "Cupid Shuffle", sometimes three times a night. Losers.  As you can see, it makes no sense to try to "save" Pleasure Island because it's really not and has never been worth saving!

But let's talk about Hyperion Wharf.  Now that was going to be a place worth visiting! The plan was put on hold a few months after it was announced as the replacement for Pleasure Island.  But then just last month we learned that it's going to be cancelled.  No way!  We've got to save Hyperion Wharf.  It was going to be full of awesome 3rd party shops and restaurants.  It was going to have a waterfront amphitheater where everyone could gather to watch incredible free musical acts while waltzing water fountains performed in the lake.  There was going to be a million tiny little lights that flickered in the evening to create magic as only Disney can while a waterfront "pier" offered amusement games and prizes in a turn-of-the-century atmosphere. There was going to be free stroller parking! When Disney told everyone that they were bringing "bold and new" to the Island, they really meant it!  And now they're going to cancel it?  No way, not on our watch!

Thus today, Pleasure Island is out and Hyperion Wharf is in.  I'll be creating petitions, I'll be giving out email addresses of Disney execs so you too can voice your support for Hyperion Wharf!  Readers, we need you to re-energize and help fight to bring back the Wharf!  (And while we're at it, let's bring back Celebrate Tonight too!)
UPDATE: Since no one seems to care about Hyperion Wharf, the Blog is returning to it's original mission: to Save Pleasure Island!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bravo!

DJMadManRay said...

Happy April Fools Day Bob! Now, that's FUNNY S---! :-)

Anonymous said...

haha almost got me :)

ClubMaster said...

OMG Disney finally hacked the blog!! Call the Marines or Geek Squad!!!


lol :P

Anonymous said...

Oh, the irony...
Disney Parks Blog talks about all the exciting stuff for Adults to do at Disney Parks:
http://disneyparks.disney.go.com/blog/2012/03/take-5-adult-fun-with-disney-parks-and-resorts

Anonymous said...

Yes, the irony. 2 of 5 things listed are on Disney cruise ships, 1 is at Blizard Beach and 1 is in Hawaii. So their own article conceeds there ain't shit for adults to do at Disney world!

KingBob said...

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

Anonymous said...

First of all I'm glad to know that this was a April fool's joke.
Now let's get back to buisess which is getting P.I. reopened.